The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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