guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize