I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
