Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
