I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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