she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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