If i could tip my vagina, i would.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
