I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
