im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
