Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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