Got a toothbrush?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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