ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
