last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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