There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just had sex on a roof
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
