It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
