You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
