ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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