It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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