Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sext me about skeletons
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