The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
