literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
