and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
