so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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