i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
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He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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