I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
