i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
