I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
