her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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