Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
