I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
