Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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