She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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