and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
