You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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