you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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