I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I want a musical about memes.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
