Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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