is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
