You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
