is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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