I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
