I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
