How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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