I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
