I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
