is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
