Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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