i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
