Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
