There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
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im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
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oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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