walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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