I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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