How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
