So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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