If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
