i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
