So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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