this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
P.S. I can't hear my feet
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
