called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
